How to deal with a gaslighter using their own tricks

Gaslighters thrive on chaos and emotional reactions. They may provoke you to react angrily or defensively so they can paint you as the irrational one.

Practice staying calm and composed, even when they try to provoke you. This approach not only prevents them from gaining the upper hand but also allows you to respond thoughtfully rather than react emotionally.

Gaslighters often use ambiguity to confuse their victims. Turn the tables by asking precise, direct questions that demand clarity. If they make a vague accusation or claim, calmly ask for specific examples or details.

For instance, if they say, “You always overreact,” respond with, “Can you give me a specific example of when I overreacted?” This tactic forces them to confront their manipulations and reduces their power over you.

Establishing clear boundaries is crucial when dealing with a gaslighter. Let them know what behaviour is unacceptable and stick to your grounds consistently.

For example, if the gaslighter continuously lies or manipulates conversations, you might say, “I won’t continue this conversation if you keep distorting the facts.” Follow through with consequences if they cross the line.

Setting boundaries shows that you value yourself and won’t tolerate manipulative behaviour.

Gaslighters often engage in power struggles, trying to exert control over your thoughts and feelings. Avoid getting into arguments or trying to prove yourself right.

Instead, use phrases like, “I see things differently,” or “I remember it this way,” to assert your perspective without getting drawn into a battle. This approach maintains your stance without giving the gaslighter more fuel to manipulate the situation.

Dealing with a gaslighter requires strength, self-awareness, and strategic thinking. Remember, gaslighting is about control, but you have the power to reclaim your reality and safeguard your mental and emotional well-being.