Reflecting on the early years of their relationship, Ben revealed that the couple had little financial stability when they first tied the knot.
“By the time we got married, we had no money and we had to depend on Racheal’s salary for the longest time,” he said.
Even now, more than a decade into their marriage, the majority of their financial obligations still fall on Racheal due to Ben’s ongoing debt situation.
“Up to this moment, up to maybe 80% of our bills are being taken care of by my wife, because of my debt issues,” he explained.
Despite the traditional expectation for men to be the primary providers in many cultures, Ben stated that he has never felt inadequate or less of a man because of his wife’s role as the main earner.
He credited Racheal for making him feel secure and respected in their relationship, even during tough times.
“At no point ever, in the 11 years that we have been married, have I felt inadequate,” Ben shared. He went on to describe how Racheal’s constant encouragement and faith in him have bolstered his confidence.
“What I get instead is this woman every day saying, ‘I am praying for you; I support you, I am with you.’”
Ben also spoke about the small yet meaningful gestures that Racheal continues to make, even when they are unprompted. He mentioned instances where his wife has sent him money, not out of necessity, but simply to show her care and support.
Although the financial responsibility has largely fallen on Racheal, Ben remains optimistic about the future.
He expressed his belief that his situation will eventually improve and that he will have the opportunity to reciprocate her generosity.
“I keep telling people that at some point…I am a fairly resourceful person…I am still young enough and I know that at some point things will turn, a big break will happen, and I will spoil this woman rotten,” he said with determination.
Ben also used his experience to question societal expectations and how women in similar situations might react.
He raised the issue of how some men, after losing a job, are made to feel inadequate by their partners. “The question is, how many women are able to do that when they are in that position, and what does it do to a man when he is constantly being reminded of how they are not sufficient?” he asked.
In his case, Ben has found solace in knowing that his wife not only believes in him but continues to see him as the leader of their household.
