It is damaging to be in a relationship with a narcissist due to extreme self-involvement and disregard for others’ needs and feelings.
However, their victims feel trapped in the relationship with them and unable to leave.
Here’s why people are hooked to a narcissistic relationship:
1. Love bombing
Love bombing is a manipulative tactic used by narcissists to make victims feel special by showering them with love, affection, attention, and gifts.
In the beginning, they show so much love to their victim that they feel like they have found their true love.
However, the manipulator’s intentions are not genuine; they simply show their victim what they think they need only to withdraw love for no reason by either shouting, the silent treatment, or even physical abuse.
The victims believe it is their fault for bringing out the monster in their partner so they wait for their loving partner to resurface. This strategy keeps them stuck.
2. Gaslighting
Narcissistic gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that involves manipulating or distorting the truth to instill self-doubt that makes you question yourself and your emotions.
Narcissists do this by citing your past mistakes, denying facts, lying, shifting blame, painting themselves as the hero of every story, making their bad actions your fault, and saying you are too sensitive.
3. Trauma bonding
Trauma bonding is a process where victims become biologically attached to their abusers, leading to addiction.
This addiction is similar to drug addiction, but the victim is hooked on the emotional rollercoaster, receiving intermittent affection when they act as the narcissist wants them to.
This can result in a dependence on an abusive partner.
4. Repetition compulsion
Repetition compulsion is a psychological phenomenon where people attempt to fix the past by pursuing similar situations or people who once hurt them with the view that they will do it better this time or correct the pain.
People who have experienced unhealthy relationships and childhood trauma where they suffered abuse are more likely to find abusive or troubled partners.
This unconscious attempt to avoid similar experiences places them in such situations. They need to heal from their trauma to stop attracting the same pattern.
5. Financial abuse
Narcissists can keep you trapped by controlling your finances.
Financial abuse involves someone controlling how and when money is spent, either as the breadwinner or a financial leech who borrows or steals money.
It can also involve keeping people and families in debt, making the partner feel like they will suffer financial ruin if they leave them.
It’s important to note this manipulation tactic and be free from a toxic relationship with a narcissist.